.~*The Realistic Life...My Sullen World*~.

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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Troubled.

Im feeling troubled. Yes. Troubled. I dont know why,but my reactions to situations really are getting on my nerves. It is amazing how i find my reactions have changed since Sec 2 Term 1. From feeling fearful when i fail a subject or having to attend the Meet-The-Parents Session, things have moved to laughing at F9s and stuffing the parents' consent form for the Session into the bag right after receiving it. Even the exclusion of me as a student councellor did not surface my disappointment. Maybe that can be explained as i already told Mr Murali in-the-face i dont really want the job, but sure, the prospect of getting so close to experiencing something many consider honorable should really prick my conscience for not doing my best, yet i found myself more preoccupied with rushing homework than executing some soul-searching for flunking a big chance. It is troubling indeed, to even find myself feeling fearful Mrs Gan specially requested to meet my parents although i failed neither Maths and have nothing really worth complaining about to my parents for Maths lessons...guess thats the thing with mysteries...is that they make you feel fearful when u ponder too much...Also, i have failed my Chinese Oral. It is obvious, very obvious, that i could not produce Essay-Like answers for the teachers in our communication. Disappointed i should feel again, yet i didnt even bother. I walked up to the teacher, read whatever that was there, gave 3 sentence answers to her qualms, and took my bag. Along the way, i told Kai Xiang good luck, and she took it that i was hinting him clues. Hence, she took off more marks from me, and again, i felt no remorse for my insolence. My blunt reply? "Yah Okay Bye Teacher". And guess what. I even had the mood to play Volleyball after such a demoralising day. Really, im worried my heckcare attitude will land me in some hot soup, yet again, i still dont have the courage nor the will to care. So what can i do? Let myself rot? Oh. More qualms. More mind-weakening questions with deep-lying answers. For the 1st time in a month, I sense fear in myself.

.~*HeadAche.*~.

Jinius Tan Ha Ha [5/25/2005 06:55:00 PM]

******

FaC+F!Le:
Manufactured 4th November 1990
TaN JiN Yi
AKA Da Kiddo
Scorpio
Scarred Birthmark on Left of My Forehead

~About Me~*
MaLe
3A1'05
2A1'04
St John
Robotix
Naive
Optimistic
Sarcastic
Jovial
Affable
Lame
Dickhead
.~*::*~.
My LiFe:
*HeR..
*The Shithead Bros
*The Screamin Sis
*The Tough-Guy Dad
*The Do-It-All Mum
*The Pesky Couzins
*The Consolance CouZiNx
*The MahJong Aunts
*The Approachable Uncles
*The Maniac Teachers
*The Hopeless Me..

Change To CBox Le!! Thx To Tecky!!

Flood arh!!!